Getting okay with it (aka finding balance)
When I was very young, my mom stayed home with me and my brother while my dad worked. It's the same in my family today, except my husband stays home with our kids.
There this weird stigma around guys staying home instead of the woman. I don't know why it exists, but I know definitively that it's bullshit. Like for real, why does it matter in any way?
Brian stays home, I go to work. It works for us, so we do it. That simple.
There is one itty bitty problem... I hate going to work.
The job itself - not the problem. It's a marketing job for a super popular children's company and is crazy enough to keep me occupied for 40+ hours a week. It's the getting there and the waiting to get home that hurts the most.
Working 9-to-5 (or 7pm...) and spending two to three hours in the car on either side of that is torture. I hate leaving my family and I really hate getting home after the kids have already gone to bed.
The thing is, I don't have a choice right now. Sure, I have dreams... but I'm currently in starving artist mode and can't afford to pursue those dreams full time.
So this is a necessary torture. I have to pay for aforementioned kids and husband to be able to stay home together. I have to get the benefits so they can go to the doctor regularly. I have to save for retirement.
I have to get okay with this.
So I do. I get okay with it, day after day.
I get through the commute with podcasts. Some are about spirituality, some science, but mostly I gravitate toward those about jumpers who jumped, makers who made, and dreamers who made shit happen. Some of my favorites are How I Built This, When to Jump, and Hidden Brain.
I have to get okay with the anxiety, too. Anxiety from being away from my family so much or fearing something bad is going to happen. Or the anxiety from wanting so badly to make my dreams happen.
I do a lot of deep breathing (like 14 times a day). And eaaaarly in the morning (it's 6:14am at the moment), I savor a few quiet moments and write, which kills my anxiety by forcing my mind to stay on one track for just a few minutes. It's almost a form of meditation (another activity I'd love to do but can't seem to shut off for long enough to actually accomplish).
Late at night or on the weekends, I paint. Large form abstract art, with acrylic paints. That's my happiest place of solitude.
On the weekends, I teach my kids how to paint, let them go nuts with Play-Doh, read all the books, throw blocks around with them, clean the house with them... you name it. Weekends are for LIFE. Weekends are life.
And that's it. That's all I really have time for, spare a few get-togethers with the extended family and friends whenever we can make it work.
How do you get okay with your necessary evils? Find me on Instagram @mamakateknowsbest and send me a message - I'll share your story here!